The beginning: Scene negotiationĪll good BDSM begins with communication. What should you expect with a professional?Īctually, all sessions should, more or less, follow the same general structure. Let a few know you’re on the hunt for some therapeutic tushy spanking, and word will spread. “The best part about a sex party is you can watch someone who you want to spank you, spank someone else,” says More.įinally, if you’re already familiar with the BDSM scene, word of mouth is a great resource! Kinksters are a gossipy group. To find out how to get into and where to find a sex party near you, ask your local sex shop employees - they’re usually in the know. Social distancing protocols permitting, sex parties are another great option. “Just like any social media platform or dating app, there are some great folks and some creeps.” “Just be careful and use your common sense,” says More. So, if that’s not in your budget, More recommends finding a skilled spanker through FetLife, which is described as, “Facebook…. “There are a plethora of incredibly skilled sex workers who specialize in BDSM, some of who do full-service work, and some of who only do spanking,” explains More.Ī session with a sex worker will typically cost you $200 to $400 (per hour or scene, depending) and insurance won’t cover it (ugh). So who do you go to? Usually a sex worker, according to More. Spanking therapy typically doesn’t involve going to a credentialed or licensed therapist. In other words, spanking therapy requires skill!Īnd it isn’t a skill you learn while training to be a licensed marriage family therapist, for instance. “There’s a difference between slapping someone’s rear end willy-nilly and spanking therapy,” says Taylor.